


Puer Aeternus

by allegoricalrose (SilentStars)



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fairy Tale Elements, Peter Pan References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-12 21:28:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4495368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentStars/pseuds/allegoricalrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>All children, except one, grow up. </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Puer Aeternus

_All children, except one, grow up._

It took only five words to lure her to his Neverland; he took her hand and they flew through time and space, running from carpets and curtains and butcher’s shop employment. Every day heralded a new adventure: pirates and mermaids, frozen waves and werewolves, and they crowned themselves victorious over and again, tinfoil crowns and wolf-skin mantles. And while the grown-ups learned words like hubris and hamartia, they instead studied the feeling of thumbs caressing palms, the dizziness of too much laughing, the expanse of the universe with each unturned rock and nudge of the other’s shoulder. Death remained meaningless as should it be in childhood, a giant leap in the unexplored dark. “To die would be the greatest adventure!” they cried while leaping between river stones and dancing with the devil even as the great beast nipped at their heels.

What was less clear to Rose until much later was that while he was the leader, he was also a lost boy, yearning for family but shying away with a war whoop whenever it was sighted on the horizon. He was the pretend husband, the thimble, the almost-lover, but he also trailed fairy dust in his wake while pushing her away. He was the hero but he was also the villain, forever pursued by a ticking clock. If he never looked back the beast could never catch him and so they kept moving. Kept running.

And in the end, he was the victor but he was also the defeated; he was the eternal boy but he was also the adult, making the hardest of decisions when all he wanted was to fly her back to Neverland. He grew up. But only part of him. The part that used to be his right hand, more specifically. The other part (the part of him stitched together with shadows and the sinews of her child’s heart) let her go, let her grow up too, and resumed his running with increased conviction.

But he still visited her sometimes, hovering just outside her window on cool nights between adventures. He watched her cry, watched her be consoled, watched her grow up so happy he had to shade his eyes. He listened in silence to her stories; stories of mermaids and pirates, frozen waves and werewolves, forevers and happily ever afters. 

And one day, one lonely day when his legs were tired and his hearts were even emptier than his hand and the chill permeated his bones, he flung open the sash and climbed inside the fire-lit room where she sat, stroking an old sheep dog in front of the hearth.

“I knew you’d come back one day,” she murmured without opening her eyes.

“How could I not?” he whispered, his words all but eaten up by the dimming twilight. “Come with me Rose, come back. Just one last adventure, you’ll see! One more.”

She opened her eyes finally and she was more beautiful than he’d ever seen her. “You know I can’t.”

“Why not?”

She laughed, her eyes twinkling. “I’m old, Doctor. Don’t you see?”

He didn’t see and he cocked his head to the side in confusion.

“No more running for me. Seems I’ve forgotten how. But it’s all right. Turns out _living_ was an even greater adventure.”

He shook his head and looked away. “One more adventure,” he pleaded. “Please, Rose. I’ll teach you to run again!”

“Look, Doctor.” She stood up, her arms shaking as she fumbled for the chain of the lamp by her side. 

“No!” Ice-cold fear rocketed through every nerve in his body and he stumbled forward, anything to stop the light from hitting her face. But it did, the white of her hair haloing a face he could never see as any older than nineteen. With a gasp of pain he staggered back; she reached for him, trying to pull his forever-young body into her frail arms, but he dodged her touch and backed himself into a corner. 

Her smile was wet as she retreated back to the chair and he choked on the tenderness therein. “Doctor.” He looked everywhere but at his most beloved adventure and soon he heard bedclothes rustling behind her and a raven-haired child’s head in the four-corner bed. 

“Is that your brother?”

Tears continued to run down her face. “Tony’s long grown up, Doctor. He has a grandchild, even.”

“Your…” The word caught in his throat and he clenched his jaw and started again. “Is that your daughter?”

“This is my granddaughter. I told you, Doctor, I’m ever so old now. Married and a grandmother of six. Imagine!”

“I’ll take her then,” he decided with a petulant pout, “she’ll know better than to grow up.”

Rose turned toward the child and bit her lip, her eyes shading over as she breathed out a shuddering sigh. “Yes, I suppose you will.” Her face crumpled and without another word she hurried out of the room, a hand clutched over her mouth. 

The noise of the door slamming woke the figure on the bed, lips smacking and armed outstretched, and he crept forward cautiously. 

“Grandfather?” she asked sleepily and he shook his head, a mischievous finger to his lips. 

“I’m the Doctor. Who are you?”

She grinned, instantly awake and alert. “I’m Susan. I’ve been waiting for you. All my life it seems.”

“I don’t suppose you’d like to see the stars?”

“Oh, yes!” she cried, hopping out of bed and racing for the window where his blue box was parked.

An old man hurried into the room as fast as he could hobble with his cane, Rose following behind with her arm supporting his other side. Susan and the Doctor were already by the TARDIS, a key already inserted into the lock. 

“Look after him,” Rose called frantically. “And please, Doctor, keep her safe. And no matter what it takes, take her where she needs to go. You have to promise! Timelines and paradoxes and all that.”

He nodded with a curt glance at the old man who wasn’t staring at the time ship as he might have anticipated but instead at something even more precious. “I love you,” he told his granddaughter, “never forget how much we all love you. And whatever happens, know that your happiness is our number one priority. Always. Even if you don't want to believe it at first.”

The Doctor harrumphed and pushed open the blue door, stepping inside and gesturing for Susan to do the same. “All of time and space,” he told her once she’d said her goodbyes, “where do you want to start?” 

And they flew off until they were as small as the stars in the sky. 

_All children grow up and wither and die. All children, except one. But as long as innocence and wonder continue to thrive on Earth he'll be around. You'll see him in of the corner of your eye or feel his presence fluttering against your ribcage. And you'll remember, just for a moment, all those dreams of flying you had when you were still small._


End file.
